The world of dating is always changing, and with every new generation comes a new set of rules, behaviors, and, most importantly, a new vocabulary.
If you’ve ever felt lost trying to keep up with terms like ‘ghosting’ or ‘situationship,’ get ready.
Gen Z, the generation born roughly between 1997 and 2012, has created a whole new dictionary for modern romance.
This new language isn’t just about fun slang; it’s a way to describe the complicated and often confusing experiences of dating in the digital age From relationships focused on social status to partners who reappear like zombies, these terms help people process what’s happening to them.
We’ve put together a simple, user-friendly guide to the 10 newest Gen Z relationship terms.
By the end of this article, you’ll be fluent in the language of modern love, ready to navigate the dating scene with confidence.
The Gen Z Dating Dictionary: 10 New Terms Explained
What is Throning?
The Simple Definition: Throning is when someone dates you mainly to boost their own social status or image. They see you as a “throne” to elevate themselves.
Full Explanation: A person who is “throning” is not interested in a real emotional connection. Their main goal is to be seen with someone who has a lot of social influence, money, or a high-status job.
They want the clout that comes with being your partner. This behavior often shows up as a difference in how they treat you in public versus in private.
A Relatable Example:Imagine you start dating someone who is always eager to go to big parties or events where your successful friends will be. They introduce you to everyone with a little too much pride. However, when you’re alone at home, they are distant, barely talk about their feelings, and don’t seem interested in your life.
If they seem overly focused on your status and change their behavior when you’re in public, you might be getting throned.
2. What is Shrekking?
The Simple Definition: Shrekking is dating someone you aren’t physically attracted to, hoping that because you “lowered your standards,” they will treat you better than your past partners.
Full Explanation: This term is inspired by the movie Shrek, where Princess Fiona falls for the ogre. The idea is that if you overlook physical attraction and date a genuinely “nice” person, you’ll be rewarded with a perfect, kind relationship.
The disappointment, or the “Shrek,” happens when that person you chose for their kindness still ends up hurting you or being a bad partner.
It proves that being “nice” doesn’t automatically mean they are a good match.
A Relatable Example:Sarah was tired of dating attractive people who were emotionally unavailable. She decided to date Mark, who was sweet and kind but not her usual type. She thought, “He’s so nice, he’ll never hurt me.” But after a few months, Mark became controlling and possessive. Sarah realized she had been Shrekked—she lowered her standards for looks but ended up with a partner who was still emotionally difficult.
What is Banksying?
The Simple Definition: Banksying is slowly and quietly pulling away from a relationship without telling your partner, so that by the time you break up, you’ve already mentally checked out.
The Full Explanation: Named after the mysterious street artist Banksy, whose art sometimes self-destructs, this trend involves destroying the relationship from the inside before the other person even sees it coming
The “Banksy-er” starts to withdraw emotionally, avoid deep conversations, and make future plans that don’t include their partner.
When the breakup finally happens, the Banksy-er feels fine because they were already gone, but the partner is completely blindsided and confused.
A Relatable Example:Liam and Maya had been together for two years. Over the last six months, Liam stopped initiating dates, started spending more time with friends without Maya, and became quiet whenever she asked about their future.
He was emotionally withdrawing. When he finally broke up with her, saying, “I haven’t felt like we were a couple for a long time,” Maya was shocked. Liam had been Banksying the relationship for months.
What is ZIP Coding?
The Simple Definition: ZIP Coding is limiting your dating pool to people who live very close to you, or only considering a relationship “on” when you are in the same location.
The Full Explanation: This term highlights an unhealthy focus on location in dating. In the most common form, people set a tight radius on dating apps, refusing to meet anyone outside their immediate neighborhood or ZIP code.
A more complex version is when a couple considers themselves exclusive only when they are physically together, but “single” when they are apart.
This is common with college students who are monogamous during the school year but date others when home for the holidays.
A Relatable Example:Alex lives in a big city but refuses to date anyone who lives more than 10 minutes away by subway. He says, “I don’t want the hassle of a long commute for a date.”
He is practicing ZIP Coding by prioritizing convenience over connection. Another example is a couple who agrees they are only exclusive when they are both in the city, but free to see other people when one of them travels for work.
What is Monkey Barring?
The Simple Definition: Monkey Barring is moving from one relationship to the next without ever being single, like swinging from one monkey bar to the next without touching the ground.
The Full Explanation: This behavior is driven by a fear of being alone and a need for constant security A person who “monkey bars” will often line up their next romantic connection before ending their current one.
They only let go of the old partner when they have a firm grip on the new one. This avoids the vulnerability and discomfort that comes with a period of being single and allows them to always have a partner.
A Relatable Example:After a difficult two-year relationship, Maria broke up with her boyfriend on a Tuesday. By Friday, she was already in an exclusive relationship with someone she had been texting heavily for the past month.
She had been secretly talking to the new person for weeks, ensuring she had a new partner ready to go. Maria is a classic example of someone who monkey bars to avoid being single.
6. What is Affordating?
The Simple Definition: Affordating is choosing low-cost or free date ideas and being open about your budget to reduce the pressure of expensive dates.
The Full Explanation: With rising costs of living, Gen Z is embracing “affordating” as a way to focus on genuine connection rather than how much money is spent
It’s about being upfront about finances and choosing budget-friendly activities. This removes the stress of feeling like every date has to be a fancy dinner or an expensive outing, allowing the couple to enjoy each other’s company without financial pressure.
A Relatable Example:Instead of a $100 dinner, Ben suggests a date where they visit a free art gallery and then grab a cheap, but delicious, ice cream cone.
He says, “I’m trying to save up for a trip, so let’s keep our dates fun and affordable.” His date appreciates his honesty and the creativity of the low-cost date. They are successfully affordating.
What is a Beige Flag?
The Simple Definition: A Beige Flag is a quirky or odd trait in a partner that is neither good (Green Flag) nor bad (Red Flag).
It’s just a slightly strange, amusing, or dull habit.The Full Explanation: We all know about Red Flags (warning signs) and Green Flags (positive signs).
A Beige Flag is somewhere in the middle. It’s a characteristic that might make you pause or raise an eyebrow, but it’s not harmful to the relationship.
It’s often a sign that the person is a bit boring, overly specific, or just a little odd. The term became popular on TikTok to describe those small, harmless quirks that make a person unique
A Relatable Example:Your new partner, Sarah, is a great person, but she has a few strange habits. She only ever orders the same plain chicken sandwich at every restaurant, or she uses the word “indeed” in every text message, or she has a collection of over 50 rubber ducks.
These aren’t bad things, but they are a little odd. These are all examples of Beige Flags.
What is Zombieing?
The Simple Definition: Zombieing is when someone who previously “ghosted” you (disappeared without a trace) suddenly comes back to life, acting like nothing happened.
The Full Explanation: This term is a follow-up to “ghosting.” A “ghost” is someone who vanishes from your life without a word. A “zombie” is that same person who reappears months later, often with a casual text like, “Hey, how have you been?” or by liking an old photo on your social media.
They try to re-enter your life without ever apologizing or explaining why they disappeared in the first place
.A Relatable Example:You dated Mark for a month, and then he suddenly stopped replying to your texts. Six months later, you get a notification that Mark liked your Instagram story from last week. A few days after that, you get a text from him that just says, “Sup.” Mark is zombieing you, trying to crawl back into your life from the dead.
What is Wokefishing?
The Simple Definition: Wokefishing is pretending to have progressive political and social views to attract a partner, only to reveal your true, less progressive opinions later.
The Full Explanation: This is a form of deception, similar to “catfishing” (pretending to be someone else), but focused on political and social alignment .
A “wokefisher” knows that many people, especially Gen Z, value a partner who cares about social justice and equality.
They will talk passionately about these issues on their dating profile and early dates. However, once they feel the relationship is secure, their true, less progressive views start to show.
A Relatable Example:On his dating profile, David listed his interests as “social justice, climate action, and equality.” On your first date, he spoke passionately about supporting local charities.
But a few weeks later, he makes a dismissive comment about a major social movement, revealing a much more conservative view. He was wokefishing you to get his foot in the door.
10. What is Cushioning?
The Simple Definition: Cushioning is keeping multiple romantic prospects on the “back burner” while you are in a committed relationship, just in case your main relationship fails.
The Full Explanation: A person who is “cushioning” is actively maintaining contact with other people they could potentially date. These people are the “cushions” that will soften the emotional blow if their current relationship ends This behavior often indicates a fear of being alone or a lack of full commitment to their current partner.
It’s a form of emotional cheating, as it involves a level of deception and disrespect for the primary relationship.
A Relatable Example:Sarah is in a relationship with Ben, but she regularly flirts with three different people from a dating app, texting them daily and keeping their interest alive. She tells herself it’s just “friendly chat,” but she’s really keeping them as backups. If she and Ben break up, she won’t have to be single for long. Sarah is cushioning her relationship.
Why This New Language Matters
These new terms show just how complicated dating has become. In the age of dating apps, people have endless options, which can lead to confusing behaviors like Monkey Barring and Cushioning.
The pressure to present a perfect image online can lead to deception like Wokefishing and Throning.Understanding this vocabulary is the first step to navigating modern love.
It gives you the power to name a confusing situation, which makes it easier to deal with. If you can say, “I’m being Banksied,” you can recognize the behavior and protect yourself from being blindsided.Ultimately, whether you’re dealing with a Beige Flag or a Zombie, the goal remains the same: to find a genuine, respectful connection.
By knowing the language, you can spot the red flags (and the beige ones!) faster and focus on building a relationship that is truly a Green Flag.